I’ve done some pretty cool stuff inside my head. Being the type who doesn’t talk much, a quiet one, if you will, I like to observe and think about what I’ve observed, often going deep inside my head to analyze the details.
Sometimes I don’t have things to analyze. Sometimes I just want to discover the secrets inside. One time I was looking for the off switch for the brain, just to see if one exists. I found it. It was like a shutdown switch, and being a curious scholar, I pulled the lever to off. I felt like my brain was turning off, like I was about to go into a deep sleep. I then noticed that I wasn’t breathing. Panic erupted in my mind and I immediately flipped the switch back and aborted any shutdown.
It was truly frightening. I remember the adrenaline pumping, panting, like I had just run a marathon, gasping for air, so happy to be breathing. I never tried that again.
Another time I found myself strolling on the dark side of my mind, and it was there that I saw a line. I knew what it was; it was in my brain after all, and as such you seem to know exactly what everything is.
This line was the crossing point from sanity to insanity… I knew full well what was on the other side, or rather I had a dim idea of what was over there. I remember there was a voice on the other side, telling me to cross the line and check it out. My scientific side was intrigued, so, of course, I threw caution to the wind and jumped defiantly over the line and started to run.
It was awful…
The things I heard… The sights, unimaginable, frightening, things you wouldn’t think of if you were sane.
I remember children crying, screaming. Lots of screaming. Wailing. Pleading, don’t do it! Don’t kill me!
I remember the insanity… The wide, crooked smile forming on my face. The maniacal laughter. The sound of rounds penetrating a body. Of daggers piecing through blood soaked skin. The ravenous urge to eat and kill and kill and eat and tear and bleed and destroy…
I’m glad I ran away. I turned right around and I ran full sprinting. I ran as fast as I could back to the line, back to the side of sanity. I remember crossing back over and leaving the line far away in the distance. I never turned back around. I never looked back. I never looked for the line again. I want nothing to do with it.