Category: FICTION

  • Mark Fischburne

    Mark Fischburne

    Mark, jolly rogers, Appalachian pirates
    Mark, jolly rogers, Appalachian pirates

    Bio: Mark deserted his post at * military base. One night he just got up and walked away. He doesn’t know how long he was walking, he believes he was in a trance. All he remembers is waking up in front of Jolly Rogers and meeting The Captain sitting outside whitling.

    Mark joined the crew and became a versatile Raider. Whether driving a regular vehicle to the Aos Si upgraded vehicles, creating deployment strategies and leading raids once The Captain left.

    • Age: 32
    • Height: 5’10”
    • Weight: 180lbs
    • Class: Acting Captain
    • Personality: Positive, can do attitude
    • Skills: Resourceful; intuitive; leadership
    • Fears: ?
    • Pet Peeve: Repeating himself
    • Favorite food: bibimbap
  • Wade Bassett

    Wade Bassett

    Wade, jolly rogers, Appalachian pirates
    Wade, jolly rogers, Appalachian pirates

    Bio: Wade Bassett woke up one day to find his autoshop had disappeared and reappeared next to a convenience store called Jolly Rogers. After a moment of disorientation, Wade gained the courage to explore and met The Captain inside the store.

    As he adjusted to life, along with Bob and Mark, he became the head mechanic and while working with the Aos Si, developed new vehicles to help in their piracy.

    • Age: 32
    • Height: 6’4″
    • Weight: 220lbs
    • Class: Jolly Rogers Auto Maintenance Supervisor
    • Personality: Disciplined; a bit of a perfectionist
    • Skills: Resilience, auto maintenance, auto upgrades
    • Fears: Being spirited away… again
    • Pet Peeve: Raiders taking shortcuts during vehicle maintenance
    • Favorite food: Fried chicken tenders
  • Court Orders Living Family to Share Home with Original (Deceased) Owners in Landmark Housing Case

    Court Orders Living Family to Share Home with Original (Deceased) Owners in Landmark Housing Case

    COLUMBUS, OH — In what legal experts are calling a “first-of-its-kind precedent in both real estate and the afterlife,” a county judge ruled Tuesday that a local family must share their recently purchased home with its original owners… who are, by all measurable standards, deceased.

    The ruling concludes a months-long dispute between the living occupants, the Harper family, and the former residents, Thomas and Evelyn Rook, who died in the home in 1987 but have reportedly “refused to vacate the premises on both spiritual and emotional grounds.”

    “We Paid This Off in 1987”

    According to court filings, the Harpers moved into the suburban three-bedroom in late spring, describing the home as “charming, quiet, and competitively priced given the current market.”

    Within days, however, they began reporting disturbances:

    • Lights flickering in deliberate patterns
    • Furniture shifting overnight
    • Messages appearing on mirrors, including the now-infamous:
      “WE PAID THIS OFF IN 1987”

    “At first we thought it was faulty wiring,” said homeowner Daniel Harper. “Then the wiring started answering questions.”

    The Ghosts File Suit

    In a move that stunned legal observers, the Rooks—through representation—filed a formal complaint alleging wrongful eviction, spiritual displacement, and unauthorized occupancy of an eternal residence.

    Representing them was local attorney and part-time medium, Gerald Voss, who claims to specialize in “cross-plane legal disputes.”

    “I don’t just practice law,” Voss said outside the courthouse. “I also run investigations on weekends. EVP sessions, cold spots, the usual. This case came to me directly… through a series of persistent knocks and one very aggressive ceiling fan.”

    Voss stated that the Rooks had no intention of leaving. “This was their home in life,” he said. “And in death, their attachment has only deepened. Frankly, they’re better tenants now than they were in the ‘70s.”

    Evidence Presented in Court

    Due to the unusual nature of the case, the court permitted a range of nontraditional evidence.

    Among the most compelling:

    • Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP) recordings, in which a voice believed to be Thomas Rook repeatedly states, “Tell them to stop touching my thermostat.”
    • Light switch testimony, entered into record after Voss conducted a live demonstration:

    “One flicker for ‘yes,’ two for ‘no.’ Mr. Rook, do you recognize this home as your primary residence?”
    (Single flicker observed. Audible gasps.)

    • A dining room chair that moved approximately six inches during cross-examination

    Judge Ellen Ward instructed the jury to “consider all manifestations as admissible, provided they can be reasonably interpreted without summoning additional entities.”

    The Family Responds

    The Harpers, who initially filed a complaint for harassment and emotional distress, argued that the presence of the Rooks constituted an “unlivable and legally undisclosed condition.”

    “We bought a house,” said Melissa Harper. “Not a timeshare with people who died during Reagan’s presidency.”

    Their attorney further argued that property ownership transfers upon sale, regardless of prior… metaphysical attachments. “Title law does not recognize ghosts,” he stated. “And if it starts, we’re going to have a serious backlog.”

    The Ruling

    In her decision, Judge Ward acknowledged the unprecedented nature of the case.

    “This court recognizes the legal ownership of the Harper family,” she stated.
    “However, it also recognizes the demonstrated and persistent occupancy of the Rook family, whose presence, while non-corporeal, is both active and assertive.”

    The final ruling mandates shared residency.

    Terms include:

    • The Rooks retain “spiritual residency rights” within the home
    • Quiet hours enforced:
      • No wailing, knocking, or object movement after 10 PM
    • The Harpers may not conduct renovations without “paranormal consultation”
    • The basement is designated as neutral territory

    A New Kind of Housing Crisis

    Since the ruling, real estate agents across the region have expressed concern over how to list similar properties.

    “One agent told me this is technically a duplex now,” said Voss. “You’ve got the living unit and the afterlife unit. Utilities are a nightmare.”

    Meanwhile, the Harpers report that tensions have already begun to ease.

    “Our youngest thinks the ghosts are ‘kind of cool,’” Melissa admitted. “And they did stop messing with the thermostat.”

    The Bigger Picture

    Experts say the case may open the door to a wave of similar disputes, particularly as housing shortages worsen.

    “If this stands,” said one analyst, “we may be entering an era where ownership doesn’t end with death—it just gets more complicated.”

    For now, both families remain in the home.

    The living upstairs. The dead… wherever they prefer.

    Editorial Note

    As one observer outside the courthouse remarked:

    “The housing market is so bad, even the dead won’t leave.”

  • Local Woman Summons the Deer Woman — Entity Declines Murder and Moves Into Man’s Apartment

    Local Woman Summons the Deer Woman — Entity Declines Murder and Moves Into Man’s Apartment

    Rapid City, South Dakota

    Rapid City, S.D. — What began as a routine complaint about an underwhelming dinner date escalated into a supernatural custody dispute this week after a local woman allegedly summoned a Deer Woman to punish a man for “low effort.”

    The Deer Woman, however, had other plans.

    According to court filings obtained Tuesday, 27-year-old Ashley Morgan claims she performed a “traditional woodland invocation ritual” after her date, identified as Caleb Robinson, chose a moderately priced steakhouse instead of what she described as “the most expensive restaurant in the tri-county area.”

    “I felt spiritually justified,” Ashley told reporters outside the Pennington County Courthouse. “If you want to be with me, you have to do better!”

    Witnesses report that later that evening, strange hoofprints were found circling Caleb’s studio apartment on the outskirts of town near the Black Hills. Neighbors described hearing “soft knocking” followed by what one resident called “a woman’s laugh, but… like… echoing from the prairie.”

    Caleb, a 29-year-old auto mechanic, confirmed that an antlered figure appeared in his doorway shortly after midnight.

    “I thought I was about to die,” he said. “But she just asked if I had coffee.”


    Ancient Entity Exercises Personal Agency

    Folklore experts identify the Deer Woman as a vengeful woodland spirit known in various Plains traditions — a being typically associated with punishing predatory or immoral men.

    Dr. Elaine Crowfoot, adjunct professor of comparative mythology at South Dakota School of Mines, cautioned against “casual summoning.”

    “These beings are not gig-economy enforcers,” Crowfoot said. “They have autonomy. Historically, the Deer Woman punishes cruelty and exploitation — not moderate dining decisions.”

    According to Caleb, the entity found him “pleasant.”

    “She said I was funny,” he stated. “And she appreciated that I didn’t stare at her hooves.”

    Within 48 hours, the Deer Woman reportedly relocated several moss-covered belongings into the apartment’s bathroom and now shares the space. Neighbors report increased houseplant vitality and a faint scent of pine.


    Legal Action Filed

    Ashley has since filed a civil suit seeking “emotional damages and supernatural misappropriation.”

    Her attorney argues that the Deer Woman was summoned under “clear retaliatory intent” and that Caleb “benefited materially from a vengeance mechanism intended for punitive purposes.”

    Caleb and the Deer Woman are counter-suing, alleging attempted premeditated spiritual homicide.

    In a brief statement issued through what appeared to be a handwritten note pinned to a cottonwood tree near Canyon Lake, the Deer Woman declined to comment on the litigation but added:

    “I choose who I punish.”


    Community Reaction

    Local officials have reminded residents that ritualistic prairie summoning over dating grievances is “strongly discouraged.”

    Mayor’s office spokesperson Trent Wilkes stated:

    “We encourage constructive communication, not ancient woodland retaliation.”

    Meanwhile, social media remains divided, with the hashtag #SteakhouseSummoning trending regionally.


    Moral Observers Say…

    Folklorists note a familiar pattern:

    Be careful what you call into the world.

    Dr. Crowfoot concluded:

    “When you weaponize forces older than memory over minor ego wounds, you may find the universe rearranging itself without consulting you.”

    As of press time, Caleb and the Deer Woman were reportedly assembling a secondhand bookshelf together.

    Ashley has updated her dating profile to read:
    “Looking for someone who understands effort.”

    Authorities declined to clarify whether that excludes forest spirits.

  • Jolly Rogers – Part 2

    Jolly Rogers – Part 2

    The Raid

    It was decided.

    Bob arranged the schedule for those staying behind to man Jolly Rogers while a small crew, hand-picked by Mark, prepared to intercept the Aardwelt shipment.

    Bob had to admit it—Mark had a knack for raids.

    Before the usurpation, the former Captain had allowed Mark to take point on strategy. Under Mark, each vehicle had a job. Before that, things had been loosey-goosey. They’d often succeeded—but not without casualties. And not just Bob’s leg.

    There had been explosions. The first iteration of vehicle upgrades had proven faulty. Wade and the Aos Sí liaison, Julia, had worked tirelessly afterward to fix the prototypes, replicate them, and refit the fleet. It had cost them months of lost revenue—but it strengthened ties with their neighbors.

    The Aos Sí invested their time and technology, via Julia, in exchange for future goods. The agreement was simple: ten percent of every successful haul went to them.

    New Haven traded produce, meat, and goods from their blacksmiths and weavers. They didn’t approve of how Jolly Rogers acquired its inventory, but they were pragmatic. The High Shepherd had visited twice, urging lawful enterprise. Eventually, he dusted his feet, blessed them anyway, and left them to their consciences.

    Bob and Mark entered the garage and descended into the underground hangar.

    Below the shop floor sat the fleet.

    Each vehicle rested in its own bay, beside a dedicated worktable. Every car was assigned to a two-person team responsible for maintenance and readiness.

    Five vehicles per raid. Sometimes more if they expected law enforcement. This deep in their territory, it was highly unlikely.

    Mandy and Julia had already departed in the Signal Jammer—a Mercedes Sprinter loaded with GPS disruptors and comm suppression tech. Julia’s temporal chronometer had projected the truck’s location down to the second.

    Bob didn’t pretend to understand it.

    It worked. That was enough.

    He glanced at the empty bay where the Sprinter had been. He hoped they were safe.

    The rest of the crew gathered around a touchscreen table displaying a live simulation of the projected intercept.

    The room fell silent as Mark stepped forward.

    Bob felt the lingering resentment in the air. Mark ignored it.

    This would be his first raid as Captain.

    “Wade,” Mark said, adjusting the digital map, “all vehicles ready?”

    Wade shrugged. “Prepped and assigned. Every team said they’re good.”

    He glanced at JP.

    “You’re not filling me with confidence,” said Mark.

    “The garage is my responsibility,” Wade replied evenly. “And every vehicle has a responsible raider. Sometimes things don’t go as planned.”

    JP raised a binder. “Last time was a fluke. Pat and I ran the checklist.”

    “Like last time?” Wade muttered.

    “Guys,” Mark said sharply. “We don’t have time for this. Pincher One—ready or not?”

    JP hesitated. “Ready.”

    Mark rolled his eyes. “Look, yes or no, I need an answer.”

    Bob shook his head. He looked at the map; the truck was about to close in on Mandy and Julia. “Guys, right now,” he pointed at the truck, “We got to go, right?”

    Mark cursed under his breath. “Yeah. Wrap it up. We can improvise… Remember, don’t lose your cool. If you’re in trouble, use the radios. They should be online at all times. Mandy should have pushed the location to each vehicle; radio me if you didn’t get it. Let’s go!”

    The Formation

    The Pinchers, JP in Pincher 1 and Wade in Pincher 2, Chevy Chargers each fitted with grappling tools to secure a connection to the cargo trailing and harnesses for lifting into the air by the Draggers.

    The Draggers were Ford F350s, piloted by Sean in Dragger 1 and Tyler in Dragger 2. Their tow capacity increased significantly, but still two were necessary to lift a cargo trailer up an over the landscape.

    Mark and Bob took the Point vehicle, a Volvo S60. This vehicle pulled ahead of the truck driver to slow them down while the pinchers got into position. One occupant would jump out onto the trailer hitch and disconnect the cargo, while the other would handle the driver with a Men In Black style memory wipe device.

    Bob felt the memory device heavy in his pocket, steeling himself for the time to come. He could do this. He’d done it plenty of times before.

    They roared from the underground hangar and locked onto the Sprinter’s signal.

    Mark clicked on his headset.

    “This is Captain Fischburne. Volvo Leader One. Radio check, over.”

    Bob slipped on his own headset. “Volvo Leader Two. Loud and clear.”

    “Pincher Two, I’m listening,” Wade replied.

    “Pincher One, riding high, ready to die,” JP added.

    “Dragger One, I hear you,” Sean said, a bit of venom in his voice.

    “Dragger Two. Loud and clear, Volvo Leader,” Tyler followed.

    Mark smirked. “Alright gents: I want a clean swipe, lift that cargo up and out, smooth like we practiced. Bob and I will handle the cab and meet you back home. Look out for each other and remember what the Captain taught us.”

    A beat of silence followed.

    None of them knew where the old Captain truly was.

    “Just do your damn jobs!” Mark barked, mimicking the old man’s gravelly tone.

    Even Sean cracked a faint smile.

    The Intercept

    The Aarwelt truck was precisely where it was meant to be at the given moment and the convoy arrived in the nick of time to intercept it.

    Mark took the left lane and lined up with the hitch, but also noticing an error in his calculations.

    “Uh, Bob,” Mark said, taking off his seat belt. “Don’t mind me, I’m just going to…”

    He began to crawl over Bob to get out the passenger door.

    “Mark,” said Bob, “Let’s at least engage the AI before you jump out of a moving vehicle.”

    Bob flipped the switch and the Volvo kept pace with the truck.

    “Much obliged,” said Mark, as he managed to shimmy over Bob and stand up onto the door ledge before jumping to the trailer hitch.

    “Volvo,” said Bob, “Take us to the truck cab. I need a word with the driver.”

    The Volvo sped up to meet the driver door as Pincher One rallied behind.

    There were only two lanes, so Pincher Two had to improvise.

    “Jesús,” said Wade to the onboard AI, “Take the wheel.”

    The Charger answered in Spanish as it veered off-road and activated anti-gravity thrusters, rising over the terrain to align with the trailer’s right side.

    Sean and Tyler followed, their trucks lifting into hover position above the trailer.

    “Setting netting,” Wade called. “JP, you in position?”

    Silence.

    “JP!” Everyone shouted into their headset.

    “We got a… problem,” said JP.

    “What do you mean we have a problem?” said Mark. He’d been disengaging the trailer hitch.

    “The net,” said JP, “It got tangled up somehow.”

    Wade swore. “You were supposed to check it!”

    “I did! It was fine! I don’t know what happened.”

    Bob’s voice cut in.

    “Guys… there’s no driver.”

    A beat.

    “What?” Mark said.

    “Cab’s empty,” said Bob. He had gotten to the driver step, using the Aos Sí grip pads to cling to the door. “I’m going to get inside. Maybe I can stop the truck.”

    “Okay,” said Mark, “Good. Try that. Tyler! Sean! Drop your hitches and let’s see what we can do. Wade, do you think one net is enough?”

    Wade flustered for a moment. “Yeah, we can try, but we’re going to need some 550 cord or something to make ends meet.”

    “I have heavy cable in my cab,” said Sean. “I’ll bring it down with my hitch.”

    “Good!” said Mark, “Tyler, stay put. Stay on task. Bob, how does it look inside. Can you slow down the truck or stop it?”

    “That’s a no go, good buddy,” said Bob, “This thing appears to be remote controlled or… I really don’t know. There is literally just a steering block inside. No buttons, nothing. It’s just going.”

    “That’s very odd,” Julia’s voice crackled over comms. “Any chance we can get the truck too? I’d love to take a look at that.”

    “Julia,” said Mark. “If you have any ideas to get us out of this predicament, you can have it.”

    “Oh no. You’re doing great.”

    Improvisation

    Sean climbed down his hitch with some heavy cable. JP and Wade and climbed the cargo trailer with the grip pads on their gloves and boots. With those Aos Si accessories they could climb anything.

    JP climbed back down on his side and began to loop the cable onto Wade’s netting. They were able to get the net completely under the trailer but now it was too short to wrap all the way over as designed. With Sean up top they were able to pass the cable between, interlace the net, and ready it of the tow hooks from above.

    Sean hooked Tyler’s line to the end and his own to the front. With a salute to Wade and JP, he ascended to his Ford.

    Wade dipped over to Mark sitting at the hitch. “We’re hooked up. You ready?”

    Mark shook his head. “JP…”

    Wade nodded.

    “Is he always…?”

    “Yes,” said Wade, giving Mark the first genuine smile since getting clocked in the face. “Let’s get out of here.”

    He climbed down the cargo trailer and back to his charger.

    “Sean, Tyler,” said Mark, “Let her rip.”

    They lifted the trailer, giving Mark some much needed breathing room. He enjoyed the fresh air as the trailer ascended above and away.

    “Bob,” said Mark, “You can pick me up. Let’s get out of here.”

    “Mark,” said Bob, “I’m stuck! I can’t get the door open!”

    “Jesus,” said Mark. “Wade, Bob’s stuck. I’m going to try to open the driver door, I need you to try the passenger side.”

    “Roger that,” Wade took his vehicle to the Passenger side and jumped to the door as Mark went to the other side. Neither door would unlatch

    Mark looked ahead to see the Volvo still driving in front of the truck. He determined if he could get back inside the Volvo, and slow it down, the truck would follow suit.

    “Any luck, Wade?” he asked.

    “This damn door is really on there,” said Wade. “It’s not going to open.”

    “Okay,” said Mark, “I have a plan. Anyone have anything to cut open a truck? Julia? You still listening?”

    “Oh yes,” she said. “I have a mini jaws of life in my tool box, but my tool box is back at the garage.”

    “I can go get it,” said JP, he continued to follow.

    “Mark,” said Sean, “We’re on site. I can find it. Julia, where’d you put it?”

    “I think it’s on Wade’s work bench. Or it might be under a vehicle. I don’t really remember.”

    “JP,” said Mark, meet Sean and Tyler and see if you guys can find it and get it here. “Wade, glass breaker?”

    Wade lit up. “Never leave home without it!”

    “Thank God!” said Mark, “I’m still going to slow it down.”

    Bob, inside the truck, had not been paying attention. He dove underneath the dash and started breaking the plastic. He pulled out his pocketknife and started cutting wires. Everything. He didn’t care. Being trapped inside a strange vehicle owned by Aardvelt gave him an unease that he couldn’t explain.

    Mark made it back to the Volvo and began to slow it down, in turn the truck started to slow down, though it may have been from Bob cutting all those wires.

    Wade pierced and broke the glass on the passenger side of the truck. “Bob, I got you man.”

    Bob rolled out from under the dash. “Oh good. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

    “Mark,” said Wade, “I got Bob.”

    “Good job,” said Mark. “You hear that guys? We’re good.”

    “Thank you, Wade!” shouted Mandy on the Radio.

    Hollers from Tyler, Sean, and JP echoed from the radio as Bob jumped into Pincher Two, Wade following after.

    “Julia,” said Mark stopping the Volvo, “If you want it, come and get it.”

    “I, uh,” said Bob, “Kind of destroyed the inside. Just so you know.”

    “I’m sure it’s fine,” Julia replied lightly.

    Bob laughed. “Let’s just get out of here.”

    Moments later, an Aos Sí saucer descended from the clouds.

    Silent. Elegant. Glowing faintly.

    It lifted the truck effortlessly into the sky and carried it toward the Appalachian peaks.

    The convoy turned back toward Jolly Rogers.