Howlietzer Publishing

Tag: fiction

  • Weightless

    She hold her life in her hands as if it were weightless.

    Sitting on the edge of sadness and great peril,

    The windowsill, open and ushering in an autumn breeze.

    She places the gun to her head,

    Her hands move all on their own.

    Unconsciously, fingering the trigger.

    Ready to pass judgment upon her skull.

     

    She wishes that as she falls,

    She’ll float like a leaf, on the tree outside her window.

    Never touching the sunlight again.

    Never rustling with her friends at the tippity top.

    Never seeing the beginning of new life in mother bird’s nest.

     

    In all things, comes the same end.

    Life is only a slow and painful death.

    And her bullet is a pill that cures all ailments.

    Blam!

    Her wish has been granted.

    I catch her in a timeless moment.

    Her body is weightless.

    A reddened leaf meeting its end.

    Sprawled in a pirouette of lifeless splendor.

     

    I’ll never know why she wanted to kill herself,

    I mumble as I sit under her tree, laying her down in the arms of the earth.

    I wanted to help; I wrote her a note and explained it myself.

    After all, life is a slow and painful death.

    “Ch-Click”

    And this bullet is the pill that cures all ailments.

  • Splitzo Frenetica: Chapter 5

    Sunny Chapman

    For the good of my mind, body, and soul, I must get rid of these other personalities… That’s what Dr. Kinless said. I guess I agree. I would love to have my time back. I find that when I black out, sometime I lose a whole day. Not to mention sometimes there is a path of havoc that leads from my cell. It seems that Terrance Stone is bent on escaping. He’s relentless and he is hurting so many people. I wish, most of all, that Terrance Stone would leave.

    “You must take control,” said Dr. Kinless, “You must convince them that you no longer need them and merge them into one psyche. One trick I would recommend, try to redefine yourself. Allow yourself the responsibility of a father…”

    “And what else? Become a flamboyant, homicidal lunatic?”

    “No, you’re missing the point,” said Dr. Kinless, “It’s not about becoming them, it is about allowing yourself to become similar. Terrance was born because a part of you was rebelling against an abusive father. Edward and Rina were born out of pure idealization. Sunny… Well I think Sunny was constructed to allow you to relax.”

    (more…)

  • Splitzo Frenetica: Chapter 4

    Rina Kasotome

    I can’t help but feel a deep reassurance that someone like Edward Thompson is inside me. To know that there is someone there who is watching out for me. It’s… nice. I don’t feel like I’m talking to no one when I talk to him anymore. I feel like he actually hears me and is helping me along somehow.

    But to know that someone like Terrance Stone is also inside me, makes me feel scared. It seems like when he is out, the black outs last longer. I would prefer that Edward take control longer than Terrance, but it never seems to end that way.

    Dr. Kinless tells me that Terrance really wants to be free. I tell him that I wish I knew how to let him go without taking my body with him. He also says I should stop talking to Edward. I tell him that I don’t think I can do that.

    The days go by and I keep visiting Dr. Kinless. I learned that there were two other personalities within me. The one that was of particular interest to me was a girl personality named Rina Kasotome.

    (more…)

  • Every Man’s Motion

    Forgotten lore from long ago,

    Reminded daily of where I flow.

    Encouraged daily by your presence;

    Established constantly by your essence.

     

    Many a time I wish I new,

    What it was, I was to do.

    Capture freedom or living slave?

    Rocket mounted but Misbehaved…

    Wicked style that pervades my empathy,

    Foolish folly all leads eventually

    To you, my friend, and hopefully stay.

    But a fool’s part, I choose to play,

     

    To the point of which I do not know where I begin and end.

     

    When it’s all over, I hope you’ll say, “You never disappointed me.”

  • Splitzo Frenetica: Chapter 3

    Edward Thompson

    “What can you tell me about Edward Thompson?”

    I woke up in my padded room. I had blacked out again. I have no idea what happened. I hoped Dr. Kinless was OK. All I remember is being strapped to the chair and the guards and the nurses and…

    I love the drugs. I don’t particularly like the memory lapses, but I do like that the drugs keep me from doing anything I wouldn’t be proud of. I guess it really doesn’t matter. I never remember what happened during the in-between time. I think it’s better that way. There’s always some force inside that, when it is all over, tells me it is going to be alright. Kind of like a father figure.

    I can’t say that I had much of that. My real father died. My mother remarried when I was 9, and he wasn’t a very good father. I think it was during that time that these memory lapses began. It started off small. I imagined my ideal father and eventually I began to talk to him. Maybe I was trying to talk to God. I don’t know. My step dad was always gone and if he was around, he was incredibly stressed.

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