The Adventures of Taylor Swift Part 3

We last left our heroes in the Southern Woods, where the lovely high priestess Taylor Swift fought off the cunning thief Meg Myers and in return uncovered the truth about the Crystal Tones.

We now join our hero in a grody bar where the unthinkable transaction took place.

“Your scribe is very annoying,” said Meg Myers, sipping from her teacup.

“Once you get used to his spazy nature, he kind of grows on you,” said the ridiculously talented and kind Taylor Swift.

“Is he writing everything we say?”

“Yes,” Taylor sighed, “He’s been charged with writing my ‘hero’s tale’ as it were.”

“Ah yes…” Meg Myers remarked, “The amazing adventures of the high priestess. Oh how we all adore her… prrrrb”

“Was the raspberry necessary?”

“I don’t know. I think it fits quite well.”

“You babes will be drinking more than tea, I hope,” said a lovely dark-skinned woman with long, red hair.

“No,” said Taylor, “I’m happy with my tea.”

“Yeah,” said Meg Myers, “I’m definitely going to need something harder than this shit.”

“Lady Myers!”

belch! “What?”

The ever-gorgeous high priestess, facepalmed her delicate forehead, eyes closing, condemning the heathen creature that sat in front of her…

“Heathen creature, eh scribe!” said Meg raising her wand, “I’ll show you heathen!”

“Now, now, Lady Myers,” said Taylor, “Calm down and tell me who you sold the Crystal Tones to.”

“Whatevs, Priestess,” said Meg, rolling her eyes, “There was a posting on the wall there, and because I needed the money, I contacted the loser. The deal was to meet in the Southern Woods and to stall in case I was followed.”

“So he was there,” said Taylor, “In the southern woods where we did battle?”

“Yeah, uh-huh.”

“You would do best to treat the high priestess with the utmost respect, you wicked witch!”

“Speaking of witches…” said Meg, taking a big gulp of whatever it was that the lovely waitress brought by.

“You didn’t!” said Taylor, an elegant spark of shock graced her illustrious face.

“I did,” said Meg, smiling, “I’m a bad girl.”

“What?” said the lowly scribe, “Did I miss something?”

“The task was created by the dark witch… Madonna…” said Taylor, “Lady Myers, how could you?”

“Well,” said Meg, trying to keep her voice steady, “I guess a perfect angel like yourself wouldn’t understand what a heathen creature like myself is capable of, do you?”

“I didn’t call you that,” pleaded Taylor, “I think you’re amazing.”

Meg’s face tinged red a bit. May have been the liquor, may have been the shame, but Meg Myers knew that she had to come clean and tell the great high priestess the truth.

“Would you stop writing that shit!” Meg shouted. “Fine, I screwed up, OK? I saw what looked like a great opportunity, and I took it. Now, before any more bullshit happens, we need to leave. The second part of the job was to lead you here!”

“What?” said Taylor.

“Please,” said Meg, “Let’s get out of here now!”

But before they could evacuate their seats, an explosion from behind them shook the whole building, at the center of the blast stood three women–at least what seemed to be women. The one in the center, her breasts seemed to be reloading?

Bang bang into the room (I know ya want it) They sang,
Bang bang all over you (I’ll let ya have it) They each lifted twin, pink 9mm Glocks and started shooting everyone in sight.
Wait a minute lemme take you there (ah) BANG!
Wait a minute till ya (ah) BANG!
Bang bang there goes your heart (I know ya want it)
Back, back seat of my car (I’ll let ya have it)
Wait a minute lemme take you there (ah)
Wait a minute till ya (ah)
“Shit, Priestess,” said Meg, “We gotta move now!”
“No,” said Taylor, “I must not let them get away with this. If this is the road to the Crystal Tones, I must follow it to the end.”
This ought to keep you slobbering for more, ladies and gents. Don’t worry, this isn’t the end for our heroes. I’m just feeling a bit lazy. Give me a minute…
While your waiting, check out some music:
Bang Bang, with Jesse J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj
And of course check out Madonna, Beyonce, Taylor, and Meg


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