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I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I came off wrong. I have my excuses, but those are unimportant. There are some things you must know:

You were never a replacement. When I met you, I wasn’t ready for a relationship, but you were attractive and I didn’t want to miss out. The way you started geeking out about computers really turned me on and I fell in love with your compassionate side and desire to help everyone around you…

That being said, I don’t really know you.

IEYDAPPA said you were only interested in *omitted, and though I am one, you tried to get her to introduce to others… that doesn’t sound like you… the you I thought I knew…

Even so, after I botched up our date with my awkwardness, you still genuinely seemed to want to hang out with me. I tried to be your friend, but hanging out with you was heart breaking, especially when you decided to date other guys.

I finally told you how I felt and all I got was a “thanks…”

And yet you still wanted to hang out whenever you saw me…

I don’t understand…

All I know is I WAS a bit of a sleaze when we met; I was going through something; that’s an excuse.

I desperately wanted to change your opinion, but I should have just let go.

I’m striving for better. I don’t know why I’m writing this; I can’t sleep till it’s done.

You had the best of intentions with me, and I just couldn’t handle it.

I hope in a year from today we meet again and have another date, and I can perhaps find out if anything was real. Perhaps I’ll have lost interest. Maybe I’ll find someone who doesn’t hurt me… and likewise. I hope I never hurt another woman again.

I just wanted you to know I liked YOU. Not your body, not any resemblance you had to anyone else, YOU.

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I’m sure that when you landed on my page, you were astonished to see the heading there: Howlietzer Publishing.
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